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The Last Hunting Trip

( 1994 Walter Farmer)

Now you all gather round and I'll tell you a little bit
About me and old Bill and our last huntin' trip.
We had planned for months savin' every single dime
gonna do a little huntin' just like ol' times.

Now Bill and his truck are both a little run down
But they always seem to get us all back into town.
A slant six Dodge with gray primer paint
Bologna skin tires and the frame wasn't strait.
Started out after work on a Friday afternoon
To spend the first peaceful night 'neath the stars and the moon

About half way there I heard a horrible sound
And I said to Bill " you better let'em go round."
Ran us of the road as they passed on by
It was this 4x4 that was 5 feet high.


We had planned for months savin' every single dime
Gonna do a little huntin' just like old times.
I always remember huntin' being so much fun
We's wishin' we was home when it was all said and done.

We hit the mountains 'bout 11 at night.
It took another hour to find a camp sight.
Along about midnight we were finally bedded down
When our peace was shattered by that horrible sound.

Then I heard someone say "hey lets camp here"
Then they pulled next to us and started throwin' out there gear.
Had the radio blasting, they's carryin' on
Finally went to sleep just before dawn.

We drug ourselves out of bed, made some coffee to go
I said "we'll look for some sign up on Buck Springs road."
We drove a couple hours things was finally turnin' 'round
When once again we heard that horrible sound.


Bill looked at me and said "lord what a hassle"
"Them fools got that monster buried clean to the axle"
As we pulled on up he said "grab yourself a chain"
"Better make it snappy cause its startin' to rain."

I gave Bill a sign he gave a big jerk
And that big ol' monster roared out of the dirt.
I said "boys I just wanted to make you aware "
That the vehicle crossin' is right over there"

He's lookin' mighty nervous and I thought he's gonna faint
When I slipped with my chain and scratched his paint.
I said "sorry 'bout that " as I winked at Bill"
They just got in there truck and took off up the hill.
"Now they didn't have to leave here quite so fast " I said
"They could at least of given us a dollar for gas"


Well along about sunset we finally had some luck
There in a clearin' stood a big ol' buck.
Bill drew a bead but before he got a shot
There was a noise down the road and that deer took off.
As the noise got closer Bill said with a sigh
"Its that 4x4 that's 5 feet high."

I said "now Bill before you go gettin' all mad"
"The way their drivin' something's happened real bad"
As they roared on up and the window came down
They said "could you show us the way back to town."

I looked at Bill and his face was turning red
He had his barrel pointing right at the boys head
"Tape some branches to his head and send him off running"
"I'll practice my shootin' if I cant do no huntin'"

I said "Bill that might be kind of hard to explain"
"Since turkey season don't start till next spring."
He said "ah your right ," and he put the gun down
"The road on the left will get you all back to town."


On the way back to town Bill loudly exclaimed
"Next hunting season we will make a little change."
"Save ourselves some money and a whole lot of grief."
"Head for town and buy a side of beef."
"A sack of potatoes and bottle of wine"
"Stay home with the wives and have a much better time."

"We could even go to your house if you think you'd rather."
I just looked at Bill and said "Amen brother."

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